


About Love

by AKUMA_jpg



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Idols, idolxproducer, irene!soloist, joy!producer, seulgi!dancer, somewhatangsty, wendy!soloist, yeri!soloist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKUMA_jpg/pseuds/AKUMA_jpg
Summary: It’d be nice if time stopped right now, with just us two.“It must’ve hurt when you fell from heaven” No, but it did hurt when she fell off the platform on an SBS set, “Curse you SBS”. Seungwan goes through the steps of recovery, hating every second of it, wanting to get back on the stage to sing again. Sooyoung, a hot new producer signed to SM, hears of the fallen angel that is WENDY, and see’s her in the practice room shining brighter than the sun, unable to look away.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Kang Seulgi, Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	1. "Your Laughter Builds Up Like A Chord"

**Author's Note:**

> I MISS WENDY, It's been so long since we've seen her :(. I hate SBS, no question. here's some wenjoy fluff. Also, anything they sing is a translation from the their actual songs (I cut out some lyrics tho, to fit the mood correctly), including the chapter title names.

Six months, one hundred eighty-two days, and four thousand three hundred sixty-eight hours. Six months of staying in bed, doing nothing. One hundred eighty-two days of taking horrible tasting medicine and being babied by her parents. Four thousand three-hundred sixty-eight hours spent not performing, spent not practicing, spent not making new songs, spent not in front of the camera. Seungwan hated it. She felt like the world and industry were moving on without her, she felt like she was frozen in time while everyone else carried on like normal. She wanted nothing more than to be singing on her comeback stage, hearing the loud fan chants filling the set, but no. 

  


SBS had to ruin her newest come back, they’ve never had good quality in stages. Which only resulted in her falling off their cheap platform. On top of all that, the SBS staff didn’t even notice she fell during rehearsals. Her friend, and fellow idol, Yongsun saw her injured and called for help. She hated SBS with a passion, she was supposed to perform her new song, _Light Me Up_ , on their Christmas broadcast but instead, she was strapped to a hospital bed watching reruns of _The World Of The Married_ on tv. Weeks of eating hospital cafeteria food went by before she was discharged. And of course, the first face she’d see when she walked out of the glass doors was going to be none other than the famous Irene. Joohyun and her were SM trainees together back in high school, being close friends before both debuting solo. 

  


Joohyun’s stage name was Irene when her’s was Wendy. Despite the two being best friends, they had _very_ different concepts and images. Seungwan was the innocent angle of SM, the princess of the K-pop industry, with her smooth silky voice and fairy-like visuals. Joohyun, on the other hand, was considered the queen of SM, her concepts leaned more towards girl-crush, with her vicious raps and killer looks, she quickly made a name for herself in the music field. Both respectively taking their places at the top, reveling in their hard-earned success. 

  


“Whats up Wan-ah.” Joohyun’s arms were crossed, she was sporting a black leather jacket and leaning on the hood of her expensive sports car. Still to this day, Seungwan wondered how such a small woman could look so effortlessly intimidating. 

  


“Hi, Joohyun.” 

  


“I missed you. SM’s so boring without you.” The other girl jumps over and helps Seungwan into the passenger’s seat. 

  


“You don’t have to do that, ya know. I’m not an old lady.”

  


“Really? You’re what… 26 now. Sounds pretty old to me.”

  


Laying a firm punch on the older’s arm, “Unnie! You’re one to talk, you’re ancient. Didn’t know Seulgi liked older woman…”

  


Watching as Joohyun’s face rapidly turned a bright shade of red, “Yah! I’m not an _older woman_. Even though I don’t miss your punches, it’s nice to see you up and about.”

  


“You’re tellin me. I hate SBS so much, can’t wait to get back in the practice rooms and-” 

  


“Well hold on, what did the doctor say?”

  


“Umm… She said I’d need 2 more months to get used to stuff, but I feel fine.”

  


“No Seungwan, rest. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

  


Groaning in her seat, she’s had this conversation a billion times by now. From her manager and parents telling her not to overwork herself, but honestly, she was fine… Right? She was so anxious to make more music and get back into the thick of things. To get back into the world she missed, the world that was so abruptly taken away from her. 

  


“Unnieeeee, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m not gonna do anything crazy.”

  


“Okay…”

  


“How’re things at the company for you? I saw your new release, _Psycho_. It was really good.”

  


“Things are fine. Boring though, I just finished promotions and now I’m just back in that idea stage now.”

  


Pulling up to her apartment building, Joohyun helped her carry her things to her door before mumbling something about eating lunch with Seulgi and saying goodbye. Once inside, Seungwan had never felt so small. Sure she was only 5’2”, but inside her huge empty home, she felt only inches tall. The dark living room, only illuminated by the sparse sunlight peaking through her curtains, which only contained a small couch, tv, and coffee table. On her shelves were pictures of her and her family back in Canada, her and other idols, and trips to different places. 

  


She quietly made her way into her bedroom. It was exactly how she had left it, white sheets neatly made her bed, a modern dresser placed across the end of her room and the german oak wood acoustic guitar peacefully laying on it’s stand in the corner. The silence inside was killing her, as she made her way over to the window to let some air in the dusty residence. Feeling calmed by the low sound of cars on the busy streets of Seoul. Letting out a deep breath, she was home. 

  


In the midst of boiling a fine bowl of ramen in the wide expanse of her state-of-the-art kitchen, her phone buzzed on the counter. 

  


“Hello?”

  


“Wendy-unnie!”

  


“Seulgi?”

  


“Yes! Joohyun-unnie told me you got out today. I just wanted to check up on you, how are you?”

  


“Good, just a bit tired. I’m just hanging out at home and I’m kind of bored…”

  


“Oh! Want to hang out with me and Yeri, we’re just practicing for her upcoming album.”

  


“Um, sure. I’ll be there in a bit, just finishing a late lunch.”  
  


“See you then!”

  


She wasn’t even near the dancing bear, yet she could feel every atom of enthusiasm Seulgi exuded through that phone call. After quickly finishing her ramen, she grabbed her coat and keys, heading down to SM. Walking through the familiar building doors, she felt more at home than when she was at her apartment. Almost immediately hearing the loud boisterous laughs coming from the nearest practice room, she was certain those voices belonged to Kang Seulgi and Kim Yerim. 

  


“Seulgi? Yeri?” Slipping into the room, seeing the two sitting cross-legged in the middle of the dance floor, eating snacks. 

  


“Unnie!?” Yerim looked up at her with pure joy, before running up to her and giving her a gentle hug. 

  


Like her and Joohyun, Yerim was also a renowned soloist. A couple of years after she and Joohyun met, Yerim joined the agency and started training with them. The devil worked hard but Kim Yerim worked a lot harder. Seungwan had never seen someone so determined and committed to becoming an idol in her life until she met Yerim. Behind all the jokes and smiles, Yerim was a hard-working girl that deserved every one of the _many_ awards she got. Her (stage) name, Yeri, was known worldwide, she was coming out with a new album she wrote herself, called _Dear Diary_. Her concept was more playful and poetic compared to the other two, she blended well in front of the cameras and her velvet voice won the hearts of many Koreans. 

  


“Hi, unnie” Seulgi smiles at her from her seat. 

  


“I thought you guys were practicing?”

  


“Well, we were but Yerim decided to take her 15th break in the past hour.”

  


“Hey! The release date’s coming up and my moves are polished enough.” The youngest huffs, taking her place on the floor. 

  


“How’re you feeling unnie? Ready to start dancing?” Seulgi looks up at her with hopeful eyes. 

  


“Give it a couple more weeks maybe. For now, I’m told to keep resting.” 

  


“That’s good. Hows-”

  


“Did you hear about the new SM producer?” Yerim interrupts. 

  


“Who?”

  


“They hired some new producer, she worked on Joohyun-unnie’s album. Apparently, she’s really good. Haven’t talked to her yet, just seen her around. Her name’s Joy, she’s really pretty.”

  


“Yerim-ah, breathe,” Seulgi reprimands. 

  


“SM has a new producer?”

  


“Yeah she’s-” Suddenly she hears Yerim’s go off and in the middle of speaking, she picks it up. “That was my manager, turns out I’ve got to do some last-minute filming for the music video, got to go. See ya later, unnies.” And with that Yerim was gone in a flash. 

  


“Well, I’ve got to get going. I have to arrange the choreography for a new boy group that’s debuting. See you later unnie.”

  


Within seconds, she was left stranded in the empty practice room. Looking in front of her at the mirrors lining the walls of the room, Seungwan stared at her reflection. Her once blonde short hair was a bit grown out and reached her shoulders, and her roots were coming through. She was skinner, but she looked well-rested and calmer than before. Breaking her gaze, she turned on her heels and decided she wanted to play some songs in the studio. 

  


The walls decked out in styrofoam padding, a 3 monitor station, and a guitar looked like heaven to her. She wanted nothing more than to sit down in that office chair and play songs to her heart’s content. She grabbed the guitar, and out of habit, she started playing _All About You_ by Taeyeon. Already more than halfway through the song, 

  


_“Even when the day comes when the flowers bloom and wither, just remember one thing, my heart for you”_

  


“Wow.” Someone says behind her.

  


Jumping in surprise, she lets out a small scream. 

  


“Sorry, aha. Didn’t mean to scare you.” The same voice says. Seungwan turns around to see a tall woman with stark black hair and a charming smile pointed directly at her. “I just heard your voice and got distracted.”

  


“Thank… you?” Still confused as to who this woman was. 

  


She was wearing an ADLV t-shirt tucked into a pair of vintage blue jeans and a pair of chuck converse. This mystery woman seemed about 5’6”, but it was hard to tell since she was leaning against the opened door frame. 

  


“Hi, the name’s Joy Park.” She says, extending her hand, probably meant for Seungwan to shake but the blonde just sits in her seat. 

  


“Oh. I’m Wendy. You must be the new producer.”

  


“That’s right. I’m assuming you just got back, considering I haven’t seen you around the building before.” Taking a hint and lowering her unshook hand. 

  


“Yeah.” Seungwan was already checking out of the conversation, focusing on the tracks on the computer screen. 

  


Inviting herself in, Joy hovers over Seungwan’s shoulder, looking at the music on her computer. “Hmmm. That’s a nice track, but not enough bass.” 

  


_What? Who does she think she is?_ Seungwan thought to herself as the young producer kept spitting out suggestions for her piece. “Not really looking for criticism right now.” She states plainly, her tone a bit cold. 

  


“Just a suggestion. Well, it was nice to meet you Wendy, but I’ve got a meeting to attend to. See ya around.”

  


Even after Joy left, Seungwan was still in awe of how a new SM worker could be so blunt with her. Of course, she never believed she should be treated differently because of her fame and status, but _come on_ , at least address her with some formality. Seungwan was this girl’s senior and sunbaenim and Joy just talked to her like they were old friends. 

  


Trying to forget about that odd interaction, Seungwan heads home when her heart longs to lay in her bed, snuggled up in a pound of warm blankets. Driving back to her apartment, streaming Joohyun’s new album the whole way there. 

  


___

  


Sooyoung was heading to the conference room, to meet Joohyun and her management. She was going to produce another single for the idol, that was set to release in a couple of months. On her way up to her destination, she heard the most heavenly person singing in what was the room she normally recorded in. Out of pure curiosity, Sooyoung snooped around, she needed to see who that voice belonged to. Sitting in the chair she always sat in, was a small blonde woman, hunched over a guitar, beautifully singing her own version of Taeyeon’s song (one Sooyoung helped write). 

  


Complementing the idol on her performance, Sooyoung had no shame in outwardly expressing her appreciation for natural talent. Taking the hint that she was making the idol, that turned out to be _the_ Wendy, uncomfortable she took her leave. Pressing the button on the elevator, failing to forget the princess of SM she saw moments ago. 

  


It had only been 5 months since Sooyoung was signed to SM, under the name “Joy”. It wasn’t normal for a rookie producer to work on a senior idol’s album, but she showed amazing promise and was given the opportunity. Releasing a hit, the title track made it to the top of the charts within seconds, going gold instantly. She’d like to say it was luck, but it wasn’t. She worked her butt off in college, making music that sounded good to her, not just the company yes men, she had a clear perception of what she wanted to make and SM noticed that. 

  


Sure, sometimes she was a bit in her head and acted pretentious towards other rookie producers, but she never once slipped up. She stayed true to her word and gave every song her all. When she was younger, all she wanted to do was sing, sing till her lungs burned. She always loved music, dancing, and singing. Growing up in her small town, she was the biggest star. Known for her great singing and bursting happiness. She was offered an audition to become an idol trainee. In the waiting room with young girls around the same age as her, the realization hit her, she was no longer the best singer in the room. Being drowned by the overwhelming competition, she lost her confidence. She doubted herself for along time, in middle school, and all throughout high school, she hated her voice, never singing. 

  


Her parents were sad to see the bright star that was their daughter burnout so quickly. The only aspect of her life that was unchanging was her love for music. She loved arranging music and playing it for others, rather than singing. Her dampened dreams lead her to apply to Seoul National University in Korea, her entrance exam was to arrange a piece of music that expressed who she was. Her composed piece was a beautiful blend of melancholy and sadness, with undertones of drama. Needless to say, she got accepted. 

  


In college, Sooyoung gained back some of her lost and defeated confidence getting praise for her genius scores and the clever songs she wrote. Slowly building up her armor, she found it easier to drive people away then let them in. Deep down, past all that confidence, a side of herself only Sooyoung saw, was filled with insecurities and anxiety. But she didn’t need to confront her inner demons today, she just needed to get through this meeting and make music. 

  


“Joy-ssi, you’re late…” Damn, she didn’t expect _Lee Soo Man_ to be here. 

  


“Sorry sunbaenim, there was a bit of traffic on the way here.” She lied, taking a seat at the large wooden conference table. Sitting across from her, Joohyun wore a bored look on her face. This was going to be a long meeting… 

  


___

  


Waking up in a cold sweat, Seungwan sat up in bed. Trying to regulate her breathing and calm down from her nightmare. She navigated through her hallways in the dark to get some pain pills. Her wounds were healed but there was still a bit of soreness. After taking two tablets, unable to go back to bed Seungwan scrolled through her Instagram. One particular post from the account caught her eye, _hi_sseulgi_ posted a picture of her and Joohyun posing in front of the mirror with a heart filter on. _When will these two get a room?_ She thought to herself as she clicked on Joohyun’s profile. It only took an idiot to notice the two were head over heels for one another but working in Korea, same-sex relationships weren’t conventional. Subjecting Seulgi and Joohyun to keep their relationship together under wraps. Scrolling through Joohyun’s, or Irene’s, feed, her eyes widen in sight of a familiar face. It was a post of Joohyun in the studio she was in earlier that day, posing with Joy.

  


Taking a closer look, Joy was really pretty, like _really_ pretty. Joy had soft-looking eyes, full red lips, and a cute nose. Clicking on the post to see if the producer was tagged, feeling butterflies in her stomach when she clicked on the profile named __imyour_joy_ . Thinking twice before hitting the blue follow button, she immediately turns her phone off and buries her face into her pillows. Not even 5 seconds after, she hears her phone ping. Carefully turning it back on, Seungwan sees the notification __imyour_joy has started following you._ Another 5 seconds pass before she sees a notification banner pop up on the top of her dimmed screen. __imyour_joy has sent you a message._

  


___

  


**_imyour_joy 12:45 am**

Up late stalking are we?

**todayis_wendy 12:45 am**

no...

I was just looking through my feed and say you tagged

in one of Joohyun’s posts.

**_imyour_joy 12:45 am**

Joohyun?

**todayis_wendy 12:45 am**

Irene-unnie (￣^￣)

**_imyour_joy 12:46 am**

Ohhhhhhh so she’s Joohyun…

I hear Seulgi talking about a “Joohyun” all the time

**todayis_wendy 12:46 am**

What’s with you callin me a stalker? When you’re

the one messaging me (-.-;)-~~~

**_imyour_joy 12:47 am**

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I saw an opportunity and slid 

Besides, what’re you doing up this late???

Shouldn’t you be getting your beauty sleep

Miss Princess of SM ( ˘ω˘ )

**todayis_wendy 12:47 am**

I can’t go back to sleep

Anddd if I even was a princess, shouldn’t you address

me as “your highness”

**_imyour_joy 12:48 pm**

Oh my bad *bows* 

~~your highness~~ (￣Д￣)ﾉ

  


___

  


Seungwan hasn’t laughed this much since that time she and Yerim were on _Knowing Bros_. Her first impression of Joy was that she was some cold-hearted, pretentious music buff that only cared about her self. Granted, they hadn’t even had a full conversation before, but something about seeing her for the first time rubbed her the wrong way. Now she was teary-eyed from laughing at the funny memes she was sending her. 

  


___

  


**_imyour_joy 1:30 am**

As fun as this is Wendy-ssi, I’ve got to get

back to work…. :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'):

**todayis_wendy 1:30 am**

You’re still working?! At this hour?

**_imyour_joy 1:31 am**

Ahhhh Wendy when will you learn, music

never sleeps. 

Good night **your highness** (*☻-☻*)

**todayis_wendy 1:31 am**

Lol gn joy.

  


___

  


Plugging in her phone into its charger on her bedside table, Seungwan felt warmer after having talked to Joy. There was something so uniquely different about her, she couldn’t put her finger on it. All her posts were goofy and light-hearted, which heavily contrasted her demeanor which was a bit more serious and enigmatic. For once in a long time, Seungwan slept soundly. 

  


___

  


Waking up to an eager call from her manager was not how exactly how she wanted to start her day… 

  


“Seungwan-ssi! They want you to have a meeting! They want to start working on another album!” 

  


“Oh, that’s good.” She really didn’t have enough energy at this hour to emote properly. 

  


“We’re gonna need you to come down to SM in about an hour, so be here quick!” 

  


And with that her manager hung up, leaving her to her own devices. Kicking her small legs over the side of her bed, she got up and started collecting things she’d need for the day. Packing a small back containing her notebook, a water bottle, her laptop, and some snacks before heading out the door. 

  


“Wendy-ssi! You’re finally here!”

  


She was used to her manager calling her by her stage name in public and her real name in private, working as an idol, it was something to get used to. 

  


“Good morning manager-unnie.”

  


“Looking good, looking healthy. Ready to head into that room of sharks?” Her manager took her arm, leading her to the elevator. 

  


“If six months of sitting in bed doing nothing has taught me anything, I’m pretty sure I can handle a couple of company cronies.”

  


Walking through the trademarked glass doors of the SM conference room. It smelled of stale coffee and paper, the table lined with men and women in business suits. Not caring that she was wearing an oversized sweater with some baby blue jeans, and a baseball cap that covered most of her face. Just having been discharged from the hospital, she didn’t want to be spotted in public, causing a huge commotion. Scanning the room she’s surprised to see Joy sitting near the end of the table, wearing a blazer over her casual clothes to seem somewhat formal, texting someone on her phone. 

  


“Wendy-ssi, we’re glad to have you back.” Some SM executive starts. 

  


Apparently, she was to make a new album, and the punch line was that Joy was going to produce and write it. Not many idols wrote or made their own songs, but Seungwan was known to collaborate and write most of her discography. Singing songs _she_ wrote herself made performing special for her in its own way. But she wasn’t opposed to handing the rungs over to Joy if it meant she got to spend more time with the producer. Days were there was nothing playing on tv in the hospital, she wrote. Dozens of pages stockpiled up in her notebook, littered with chord notes and song lyrics she was itching to sing, was just sitting in her bag. 

  


“Well that’s all for now, Wendy-ssi please get acquainted with Joy.” The PD-nim said, getting up and adjourning the meeting. 

  


“Well, Seungwan-ah, I’ve got another quick meeting to attend to and I’ll check up on you later, yeah?” Her manager whispered to her.

  


“Alright, bye unnie,” 

  


One by one, staff filtered out of the room until it was just her and Joy alone. The taller girl was playing with the ends of her long black hair, barely having paid attention to the meeting. Only engaging in the conversation to share her thoughts on the concept of the new album, and staring at Seungwan. 

  


“So, wanna grab something to eat? I’m starving.” Groaning as she stretched her arms over her head, standing up. 

  


“Umm.. sure, I don’t have anything else to do.” Seungwan was still impressed as to how Joy could just talk to her like they were kindred souls. 

  


“Oh come on, you could at least accept with a bit more enthusiasm. I know I’m no superstar but I’d say I’m pretty good company.” 

  


Oh god, was she pouting? Seungwan’s heart pace quickening, “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just-”

  


“Ahaha, it’s fine Wendy-ssi. I was just joking” The raven-haired beauty reassured her. 

  


Many SM idols ate in the building cafeteria, in order to avoid prying eyes and nosy saesangs. Gathering looks from staff and other idols as she and Joy sat down at a table near the windows. Joy was eating some kimbap, while Seungwan was having a salad, being a senior idol didn’t mean she didn’t have to diet before every comeback. The pressure to keep up appearances was heavier, so to say, now that she was a big face in the industry. 

  


She hated that half of Korea only saw her as a pretty face and had the audacity to judge her body like she was an object. She hated that she was reduced and distinguished for her looks, rather than her talents. It’s a tough world out there, working a job in the “kill or be killed” environment. 

  


“What? You don’t like your… rabbit food?” Joy joked light-heartedly, gesturing at her half-eaten plate. 

  


“No, just don’t really have an appetite.”

  


“Not fond of the idea of us working together? I saw your face back in the meeting. It’s fine, I get it.”

  


“No sorry, that’s not it. I didn’t mean it make it seem like that. I’m just still getting back and I don’t know, I just have a lot of unused songs sitting in my head. Again, just not really used to having someone work with me on my songs.”

  


“Unused songs, huh? Can I hear em’?” Joy’s mood lifted at the mention of music.

  


“Right now?”

  


“Sure, why not? It’s not like I’ve anything else to do.” She mimicked the idol’s previous response. 

  


___

  


Returning to the same studio office she was in yesterday, she and Joy were sitting close together at the desk. Seungwan grabbed a guitar and started playing the first line of lyrics for her, a song titled _Eyes Locked, Hands Locked_. A soft snare beat was playing in the background, perfectly complimenting the melodic strum of the Taylor guitar being recorded. Joy was moving, swaying in response to the calming cadence being played. 

  


_“Maybe we’re like two shining stars, I think I stress it over and over again._

_Could you begin our strange love?_

_When you touch my heart, what do you think?_

_When you reach my heart, what do you think?”_

  


“Wow,” Is all Joy could muster. 

  


“Yeah? Is it good?”

  


“Yeah, like really good.” She probably sounded like an idiot right now. “The chord progression, the crescendo… It all goes together so well, I-” 

  


Seungwan was looking at her with a goofy smile. “Wow didn’t think I’d hear that from _the_ Joy of SM, the hottest new producer in the biz.” She teased. 

  


“Well, I didn’t think I’d get front row seats to watch the princess of SM sing.” 

  


“Oh shut up.” She says, while madly grinning at the woman next to her. 

  


“Here let me try something…” 

  


Joy moves in front of her a bit to add something to the song, carefully adding experimental sounds and replaying the new recording. She added a soft drumbeat in the background, hearing it for a few seconds before moving over to the small desk piano and playing some soft notes that fit the tone of the guitar. After overlaying the two, sounding harmonious as one and nodding in approval as she turned to the beat sampler, adding in a few more sounds. In a matter of seconds, she completely transformed the song from just an acoustic recording into a whole composed ballad. 

  


“Here we go-” Tongue sticking out from in between her teeth in focus, she hit the spacebar of the keyboard to play. 

  


_“...If you want to hug me, tell me, smile at me to get in my door_

_My heart is bursting with my hands and eyes locked_

_Put your eyes together, put your hands together_

_Put your eyes together, put your hands together…”_

  


“I guess there’s a reason you’ve been behind all of SM’s recent hits.”

  


Chest swelling with pride, Joy feels herself softening in the presence of the smaller woman. Wanting to hear more of her voice rather than trying to impress her. “Got more songs?”

  


“Um.. yeah... Like a lot.” 

  


“Let’s hear em’” Joy leaning back into her chair, cracking her knuckles. 

  


“I thought you’d be tired of hearing so many songs day in and day out,”

  


“Why? I love music and hearing your voice, so I don’t mind.”

  


Feeling her face get hotter at the sudden compliment, Seungwan flipped through her notebook. Stopping at the page with the song titled _Love Is The Way._

  


_“Look into my eyes, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_I don’t mean it, no no no no no_

_Can you untie my twisted mind?_

_Love is the way, it doesn’t work as well as my mind…”_

  


Finishing the song, she looks over to Joy awaiting approval. She can visibly see the gears turning inside Joy’s head, after thinking for a couple of seconds she gets to work. First, adding a few notes of a brass instrument, and tambourine sounds in the recording. Second, adding a steady drum kit to give the lyrics a more upbeat tone. 

  


Hours of them adding adlibs to the two songs and polishing the recordings went by before Seungwan was pulled back into reality by a call from Joohyun. 

  


“Hello?”

  


“Where are you?”

  


“What?”

  


“I told you to meet me and Seulgi at the cafe for some drinks like an hour ago, where are you?”

  


“What? When?”

  


“Omo Seungwan, don’t you ever check your phone?” The woman on the other end of the phone sounded a bit annoyed at her oblivious state. 

  


“Sorry, I’m in the studio right now.”

  


“Recording already? You just got out?”

  


“Um yeah I guess, they want me to start working on some songs. And Joy-ssi wanted to hear a couple of my songs so-”

  


“I get the picture. Well, are you done?”

  


“I guess…”

  


“Well hurry and get your ass down here, dispatch is here and they’re gonna think me and Seulgi are on a date. I don’t need any more rumors about us.”

  


“Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.”

  


Hanging up the phone, she hurriedly shoves her notes into her bag and shoots Joy an apologetic glance. “Sorry Joy-ssi, I forgot I made plans. I’ve got to go-”

  


“Sooyoung.”

  


“What?” She says for the third time today.

  


“You can call me Sooyoung, that’s my real name anyways. I mean if we’re going to be working together, we might as well be on a first-name basis,”

  


“Oh, Sooyoung, that’s a pretty name.” She mutters under her breath. “Seungwan is mine.”

  


“Really? I thought your real name was Wendy.”

  


“Well, it is… kinda… My birth name is Seungwan and Wendy is my… American name.”

  


“Hmm, well Seungwan-ah, it’s been nice to get to know you,” She extends her hand one more time. 

  


This time Seungwan shook it, Sooyoung’s hands a bit bigger than hers. “Like-wise, see you soon.” She nearly ran out of the room without thinking, not noticing the bright smile on Sooyoung’s face. 

  


___

  


Showing up to the cafe out of breath, having run to the shop, not wanting Joohyun to get plagued with more dating rumors. She felt bad for the couple, having to sneak around and hide their love for each other in fear of being not accepted by overbearing fans. Looking over and seeing the couple having a hushed conversation with cups of coffee in hand.

  


“I’m… huh… here.” She panted. 

  


“Finally,” Joohyun let out. Seulgi just looked at her agitated girlfriend with an endearing stare, god was she whipped. In the past, Joohyun and Seulgi dismissed rumors by simply saying they’ve been friends for 10 years but the more they hung out in public, the more their relationship seemed to catch the attention of the media. 

  


Seungwan remembers during Joohyun’s first world tour, how lonely Seulgi was, spending every day waiting for her to come back to Korea. If their relationship had taught her anything it was that love made you damn near invincible, but it came with lots of sacrifices. She used to get late-night calls from Joohyun seeking advice on how to go about her relationship with Seulgi. 

  


_“I don’t know what to do… I want to see her but I can’t, my management warned me not to, if this gets out… I don’t know what’s gonna happen to us.”_

  


_“I never get to see her, only short phonecalls in between practices, both our schedules are a mess.”_

  


_“Would things be easier if I just quit…”_

  


_“I’m afraid I’m hurting her, staying like this. They’re starting to follow her, the press. I want to be with her but what if I’m hurting her?”_

  


Watching the two go through numerous ups and downs, making it through harsh obstacles and staying together no matter what gave Seungwan hope that idols like her could find love. Sure, fame and riches were nice, but at what cost? Being one meant she barely got to see her family, be her own person, live her life, one away from all the cameras and lights. Being in the recovery ward let her see, see a life away from all the crazy fans and fast-paced lifestyle. But she still wouldn’t give it up, not for anything. She felt like the best reward of all time was being able to sing for the masses. The thrill she got from performing was unlike and high she’s had before. 

  


Opening the door to her desolate apartment, she heads to her bedroom. Seconds away from falling asleep, her phone pings again. __imyour_joy has sent you a message…_

  


___

  


**_imyour_joy 10:14 pm**

wyd?

**todayis_wendy 11:15 pm**

Nothing just laying in bed 

**_imyour_joy 10:15 pm**

Had dinner yet?

**todayis_wendy 11:15 pm**

No, but I’m not really hungry

**_imyour_joy 10:16 pm**

Come on Seungwan-ah (￣^￣)ゞ

All you ate today was that lousy salad…

How about this great tteokbokki place that opened up

**todayis_wendy 11:16 pm**

Tteokbokki? Ok, fine.

**_imyour_joy 10:16 pm**

Yes! Picking you up soon ∩^ω^∩

  


___

  


Seungwan’s stomach couldn’t help but growl of the thought of eating some tteokbokki right now. She liked that she and Sooyoung became close, she enjoyed her company. She found her self wanting to get closer to the producer. Driving up to the front of her building in a jet black BMW reminded Seungwan how successful she was, slipping into the passenger’s seat. Choosing a booth near the back of the restaurant, Seungwan didn’t need any cameras ruining her dinner. Being the face of multiple name brands made it hard to go unnoticed in public. 

  


“Oh my god! You’re Wendy! Can I get a picture?” A teenager, handing them their menus caught on almost instantly. Shyly nodding in agreement, Seungwan didn’t mind taking pictures with fans but she really wanted some tteokbokki. After ordering, she saw Sooyoung pour a shot of soju in front of her. 

  


“Aren’t you supposed to be my designated driver?”

  


“I can handle one shot. Besides, how else am I gonna unwind from a day of dealing with autotuned idol raping.” 

  


“Oh god, I hate auto-tune.”

  


“I mean, I like it some instances but after the 3rd hour of hearing it, I felt like my head was going to explode. I’m lucky I get to hear your unedited velvet voice. Not everyone has the luxury to use their real voices, many young idols are still self-conscious of their voices.”

  


“Really? Ever since I was young, my parents encouraged me to sing. Never felt scared or nervous, only that one time I lost my voice and had to do vocal strengthening.”

  


“I was the same when I was little, but agencies chewed me up and spit me out.” This was the first time Sooyoung ever talked about her first-hand idol experience, talking to Seungwan was so easy, things just flowed out. 

  


“You used to sing? You trained?”

  


“No, never landed a contract.” She frowned to herself. “Now I prefer to stay _behind the scenes_. Ya’ know? I feel more comfortable not being stared at like a specimen.”

  


“What a shame, I’d love to see singing and dancing Sooyoung.” She teased. 

  


“Yah! I was actually pretty good.”

  


“What happened?”

  


Her expression darkened a bit, “Lost my confidence,”

  


Just then, the same waiter cut in to deliver their food. Seungwan couldn’t help but notice how the younger girl’s face fell slightly at the mention of her past career. Becoming an idol wasn’t in any way easy, there were years of grueling training and harsh dieting, being criticized and hated on by netizens and the media. It took only the cream of the crop to survive and continue to grown, she was thankful for that. 

  


“But I enjoy what I do.” She said in a lighter tone. “I get to work with talented people like you and Irene, or Jooyun-unnie, and make cool stuff.” Placing her chopstick in her mouth. 

  


___

  
  


She didn’t know what lead them to take a walk by the Han river at this hour, but Seungwan wasn’t complaining. In the cold early spring of Korea, the two girls were closely huddled together, leaning over the railing separating them from the view of the river. City lights reflected across the water, like a sea of lost lights, being surrounded by lush blooming green trees, it looked surreal. 

  


Turning her head towards the bundled up Seungwan, “Let’s be friends Seungwan-ah.”

  


_What?_ She thought, _who is this girl?_ Sooyoung was an enigma. She sometimes appeared cold, but the longer you stayed, she got warmer and warmer. Until she made you a flustered blushing mess. Seungwan’s heart was beating so fast and loud she was surprised Sooyoung couldn’t hear it. She had never met someone like her. At times where Sooyoung seemed out of touch, the tall girl reached out and brought her back to reality. 

  


“Okay, Sooyoung-ah” 

  


“Hm,” The girl snickered to her self.

  


“What?”

  


“You don’t sound very happy about that.”

  


Not wanting to give the wrong impression. She turns her full body towards Sooyoung, who was still absent-mindedly looking out at the river. “Park Sooyoung, will you be my friend.” She says formally, with a serious look on her features, extending her hand as the other did before. 

  


Bursting out in laughter, at the idols approach, “Sure princess, it’d be my pleasure.” shaking her hand in return. 

  


___

  


Soon, her days, weeks, and months were filled with Sooyoung. When they weren’t together in the studio, they were texting each other to pass time. After a recent visit to the doctors, she was cleared to start dance practice. But she was starting to regret it, trying to catch her breath. 

  


“Come on unnie, you can do it.” The dancer encouraged her. 

  


Seulgi was a well-known dancer in Korea, she was famed for her sharp movements and god-like coordination. It also helped that the woman was oozing charisma, it was easy to see how Joohyun fell for her. 

  


“I’m getting too old for this.” She whined dramatically, hands on her knees. 

  


“You’re the same age as me Seungwan.” Seulgi deadpanned. 

  


A couple more hours of dancing to her old songs and some other SM hits, she was released. Almost collapsing on the floor in the end. 

  


“Training hard?” Sooyoung, like always, was leaning against the door, holding out a bottle of water to the tried blonde. 

  


“Yeah, and a bit out of shape.” Wiping the sweat from her forehead. 

  


“Sooyoung? I thought you were recording with Joohyun right now?”

  


“I was, we just finished.” She explained as the woman in question walking in from behind her. Joohyun taking her place beside Seulgi, pulling her in for a quick hug and discretely laying a kiss on her cheek. 

  


“Geez, get a room you two.” Sooyoung joked, pretending she was sick to her stomach. Seungwan laughing in the background as Joohyun pouted. 

  


“You’re just jealous,”

  


“Okay _sure_ ,” Seungwan replies, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

  


“You ready?” Sooyoung asks, ignoring the couple behind them. 

  


“Yeah, let’s go.” 

  


If it wasn’t for Seulgi cheering for them as she and Sooyoung left for the studio behind them, she wouldn’t be a blushing mess. _Okay_ , she may have a small crush on the producer but in her defense, Sooyoung was irresistible. Seungwan always thought the most attractive woman was someone caring and looked pretty when she laughed. Sooyoung was that and then some. Taking her usual seat next to Sooyoung in the foam-lined room, sifting through her notes.

  


___

  


“Hey, can I play you something? Just this song I wrote recently, I think it would go great with your other ones.” It was a late night, neither of them could sleep. Sooyoung asked her is she wanted to hang out at her place since the SM building was probably closed at this hour.

  


“Sure.” 

  


Sooyoung’s apartment was around the same size as hers. Her place had a more modern feel to it, framed platinum and golden records were hung on the walls of her room like trophies. Much to Seungwan’s surprise, Sooyoung lived in the same building as Yerim. The two were very close friends, actually. 

  


They were sitting in Sooyoung’s make-shift office, in front of a 2 monitor set up. With an array of instruments all around her and just the subtle glow of the screen giving them light in the dark production room, Seungwan couldn’t help but feel closer to the woman next to her, like they were in their own bubble. 

  


Moving over to the keyboard piano near the side of the desk, Sooyoung starts playing a soft and mellow tune. Her fingers dance across the keys effortlessly, like she had practiced it a million times until it became second nature to her. 

  


_“In the same time, just for a minute_

_In the same space, stay for a minute_

_Everything in that short moment_

_The moment that stopped for you and me_

_Why did I not realize it was a miracle_

_I stopped that day with the age-old story_

_Far away past the galaxy_

_I’m crossing our white memories_

_It’s okay if I see you in my dreams_

_So let’s meet again_

_One of these nights”_

  


Seungwan, sitting beside the working producer felt her heart skip a beat. Cautiously facing the speechless idol, “How was that?”

  


Simply living in the moment, Seungwan felt it. Sooyoung’s sultry and supple voice perfectly belting out every single note of the song, to perfection. She felt exactly what Joohyun had explained when she asked what it felt like to fall. 

  


_“Well, it sort of like your whole world just stops. For a second, then they look at you and everything, your thoughts, heartbeat, they quicken… Like being unable to pull away,”_

  


She fell.

  


Choosing between answering and kissing her, Seungwan surges forward, gently planting her lips on Sooyoung’s (well not really choosing, since she physically couldn’t form words). 

  


Not losing her cool, Sooyoung laughs against the kiss, pulling Seungwan in closer. Pulling away due to the need for air, “You like it that much, huh?” Sooyoung smirked at her, arms wrapped around her shoulders, cheeks a bit rosy. 

  


Becoming formal once again, as to not give Sooyoung the wrong impression, Seungwan pulls away, “Park Sooyoung, I like you.” Features stern and serious. 

  


“Ahaha, I _know_. I mean, besides the kiss, idols don’t normally spend every spare second with their producers. I like you too, Wan-ah.” 

  


They spent the rest of the night snuggled up on Sooyoung’s couch, watching reruns of _King Of The Masked Singer_. Sooyoung nearly falling out of her seat when Seungwan’s episode comes on, “YOU WERE THE GREEN WITCH?!” 

  


“Aha, yes?” 

  


“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL TIME AND YOU’RE ON IT?!”

  


“I thought you knew?” Seungwan cheekily sat, wrapped in blankets next to the exasperated woman. 

  


“Well, obviously I didn’t,” Returning to the singer’s side, letting Seungwan lean her head on her shoulder. “I loved that episode.” She whispered. 

  


___

  


She didn’t know how long they could keep their little routine under wraps, the routine of her going to Sooyoungs’s, recording, and then some… Soon enough, they finished the album and Seulgi was already put in charge of arranging the dance points. But Seungwan didn’t want to start promotions, she just wanted to spend her days with Sooyoung, sitting in that dark studio making songs and playing music. 

  


Between dropping teasers, preparing for her comeback, and practicing, the two barely had time for one another. And on top of all of that, she didn’t even know what they were doing. _Is this a relationship? Are we dating?_ Was all she was thinking during the last production meeting, finalizing her tracklist. This was going to be the last time she was going to see Sooyoung for a couple of weeks. No one would see her, only her manager and stylist while she was trying to get ready in between back to back shows. 

  


Feeling a sense of _deja vu_ as she and the producer were the only ones left in the room, she doesn’t know how to start this conversation. “So… I’m going to start promoting soon…”

  


“Seungwan-ah, I know I was present at the meeting just now.” She jokes.

  


“...Which means, we won’t be able to see each other for a couple of weeks.” She can’t hide the hints of poignancy in her voice. 

  


“I’ll be fine Wan-ah, I’m not a kid.” She smiles. 

  


“I’m sorry, I just… I just don’t want to go,”

  


“Son Seungwan,” She copies Seungwan’s trademarked seriousness. “I will still be here when you get back. I’ll be waiting,” She placed her hands on her shoulders, pulling her into a big hug. 

  


Frozen, standing in her embrace, no one has ever told her that. When Seungwan was a newer idol, when she made comebacks 2 to 3 times a year, it was hard for her to maintain friendships. Only keeping 4 or 5 really close friends that worked in the same field as she knew the struggle. No one had ever told her that they’d wait, they always got tired of hanging around, sooner or later they left. Having Sooyoung to fall back on when she got back was a freeing feeling, it felt, unlike anything she had. Of course her parents and family would always be there for her, but from a distance, in Canada. Sooyoung was willing to be there for her, through the ups and downs, like when Seulgi was there for Joohyun. 

  


Returning the hug, she wraps her arms around her waist and buries her face into the taller girl’s shoulder. Not wanting to let go.

  



	2. "Written In The Stars"

Sooyoung loved wearing red lipstick. She loved the way it brightened her face when she wore it. She loved the way it left a mark on everything that touched her lips like she was marking her territory. She loved the way it was planted on the rims of her white coffee cups, the way it stained her food when she went to take another bite, and when it was unnoticeably scattered all over Seungwan's neck and collar. Or when it was smudged on Seungwan's once pristine white sheets and pillows, she loved red lipstick... she loved Seungwan.

She didn’t love the relentless teasing she received from Joohyun or the light scolding Seulgi gave her whenever Seungwan was late to dance practice. But for Seungwan, she’d endure any amount of scolding, just to see her smile or hear her laugh. She missed her. 

Seungwan was still doing promotions for her new album,  _ Written In The Stars _ . Hand itching to text her, she refrained herself. She was probably tired from a full day’s work and a packed schedule. She was idly laying in bed, staring at her blank ceiling, missing the body that was normally snuggled up next to her. Then the sound of her soft ringtone filled the room. 

“Hello?”

“Sooyoung?”

“Seungwan?”

“Hi.”

“How’re you, are you tired? If you want, I can call you back tomorrow if you’re tired. Seungwan, you don’t need to check up on me if you’re tired.”

“Sooyoung, please. I just want to hear your voice.”

“Oh.” Sooyoung’s heart wrenched painfully, she wanted to be there with her but she couldn’t. The last thing she wanted was for the media to start rumors about her and Seungwan, ruining her first comeback after the SBS incident. “How was the stage? I saw, you looked beautiful.”

“Thank you. I wish you were there.” A tinge of sadness present in that statement. 

“I know, I wish I was there too.” Silence filled the gaps in their conversation. “Seungwan, go to sleep. It’s late. Did you eat?”

“Yes, good night Sooyoung.”

“Goodnight.”

___

Seungwan missed performing, but she did not miss the hectic schedule she had ahead of her. Traveling straight from MNET stages to various variety shows, she was beat. People were beyond over the moon when SM announced her 3rd album release, her post overflowing with heartfelt comments complementing her sweet voice and sharp dance moves. 

Her hair now brown, with the tips still blonde and roughly the same length, was half tied in a messy top bun as she tried to rush to the dressing rooms of the MBC building. She would normally spend hours sitting in front of the mirrors, as several people applied makeup to her and did her hair, gearing up for the stage only hours away.

When she was finished, she plopped down on the couch and decided to take a short nap before her stage. Deep in slumber, she didn’t hear Sooyoung come in, who was holding a large bouquet.

Sooyoung took a seat next to her, placing Seungwan’s head on her shoulder so her neck wouldn’t hurt when she got up. They stayed like that until the 2-hour timer she set to wake her up rung, pulling her awake. Head snapping up, she “stop” button and notices a person next to her.

“Sooyoung?”

“Hi,” Sooyoung missed her and took the night off to see her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you perform, but I accidentally came to early.”

Laying her head back down on her shoulder, Seungwan felt a warming sensation flow through her body. “Thank you.” Her voice was soft and small.

Sooyoung placed a kiss on the top of her head, Seungwan closing her eyes once again. Both jumping apart when they hear someone rap on the dressing room door. “Wendy-ssi, they’re ready for you.”

“Well, I gotta go…”

“Break a leg.” Placing a chaste kiss on her cheek as Seungwan made her way to the door, blushing. 

Standing on that stage, bright stage lights blinding her. She waits for the music cue to play in her in-ears, the soft guitar playing seconds later. 

_ “Seems like we've been here before _

_ Your eyes are seeing straight right through my core _

_ It's kinda strange, but I like it _

_ Ain't no reason tryna' fight it, yeah” _

The audience in awe, in the presence of this generation’s best vocalist. Wendy never ceases to amaze them with her smooth vocals and calming stage presence, right now shes shining brighter than the sun. Beaming at the audience, she finds Sooyoung standing there, swaying along to the ballad. 

_ “You can go anywhere, babe, wherever you want  _

_ Because I know we're written in the stars _

_ You can go any which way don't matter how far _

_ Because I know we're written in the stars” _

The music fades away, signaling the end and the crowd goes wild. Some shedding tears, others frantically waving their WENDY lightsticks. Her eyes locked on the woman who makes her heart soar, Sooyoung was smiling so hard at her, her eyes were closed. Letting out a giggle at Sooyoung’s ridiculous expression. Their love was written in the stars. 

___

Sitting on Seungwan’s balcony, the Seoul night sky and city lights providing them all the light they needed. Sooyoung was softly strumming a couple of chords on her guitar, humming a new tune. Sooyoung followed through with her promise, she waited. After her show, she drove her home and kept her company for the night. 

_ “One one one my one _

_ The only one one one you are _

_ If this is love love love if love _

_ What should I do, what should I do? What if this is the love” _

Despite being too shy to sing for the public, Sooyoung had a beautiful rich voice. It made Seungwan happy that she was able to hear it, she felt thankful that Sooyoung didn’t have any insecurities when they were together. 

_ “I’m looking at you for a while _

_ Wondering if you feel the same way _

_ Of course, I really don’t know _

_ It’s still so hard” _

She wished they could go out into the world, as a couple, not worrying about public image. But her life would never allow that, and she knew. For now, she was content with just being by her side, even if it meant that one day Sooyoung would move on and find someone she could be with.

_ “Ooh love love is, what is it, what is love? _

_ Ooh love, what do I do? What if love?” _

Sooyoung poured her feelings into all her songs, it wasn’t hard to hear the undertones of hope and sadness prevalent in her lyrics. This time she wrote of “what if” love, which is something surely both of them think about often.  _ What if we weren’t in this position? What if we could love freely? What if you leave my side one day? What if we have to say goodbye? What if it’s too painful? _

Enjoying bustle of midnight traffic and the cool breeze, they cuddle up on Seungwan’s balcony, forgetting about tomorrow. 

___

Sooyoung wasn’t going to lie, she was getting lonely. The once isolation she had gotten used to was replaced by Seungwan, and now Seungwan was busy all the time with promoting, appearing on popular Korean day time shows. Short late night text messages between the two, Sooyoung was bored out her mind. 

Only then when she was out to lunch with Yerim did she notice a yellow street sign that read: “Dogs For Adoption (°▽°) Humans Welcome!”. 

Yerim was giving her a cautious look, “Joy…”

“Come on, let’s just take a look…”

“...Fine.”

Inside the spacious store, there were cement floors, dog gates, and large open windows bringing in the midday sunlight. There was a small chihuahua yapping away at the two that just entered. Being greeted by a wide smile and a woman with a name tag that read  _ Tzuyu _ , they were let into the pen with all the dogs. 

Yerim was deathly afraid of animals, and it was funny to see the younger cower in fear when a small teacup poodle tried to crawl in her lap. She then feels something weighing on her feet. Looking down to see a small white Maltese puppy sleeping on her shoes. Nearly melting, Sooyoung pets the puppy, pulling it into her lap. 

“That’s Haetnim, she’s a Maltese.” The tall employee notices the producer fawning over the pup. 

After signing a couple of papers, paying a fee, and buying an unnecessary amount of dog toys and goods, Sooyoung comes home with a new pet. Quick to send Seungwan cute pictures of her new friend, it only takes a couple of minutes for the idol to respond with the same amount of happiness she felt.

___

**Sooyoungie <3 [3:46 pm]**

Wan-ah look!

My puppyyyyyyyy

She’s so cute (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)

**Wannie [3:50 pm]**

omo cute :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

What’s her name?

**Sooyoungie <3 [3:50 pm]**

Haetnim

**Wannie [3:50 pm]**

“Our dearest sun”?

**Sooyoungie <3 [3:51 pm]**

mhm

**Wannie [3:51 pm]**

cute (=^ェ^=)

___

Haetnim, distracting her from the aching pain of missing Seungwan, was a pure ball of joy. She was hyper and sometimes ate her papers, but she was nonetheless precious. 

___

Celebrating Seungwan’s 8th award show win and ending promotions at some rented out Korean bar, Sooyoung showed up wearing a graphic t-shirt and a pair of vintage jeans. Spotting Seungwan immediately, expression softening, Seungwan was wearing an off the shoulder black top and a small black silk choker. Sooyoung had to look away, afraid she’d be foaming at the mouth if she stared any longer. 

“Sooyoung?”

“Hi,” She shyly smiles, pushing the gift she got her deep in her trench coat pocket. 

“You’re early,”

“Didn’t know how long it was gonna take me to get here, so I guess I left a bit too early.” Looking around before kissing her on the cheek. 

The rented venue started to fill up after a few more minutes, some people she knew, some she didn’t, but assumed all were friends with Seungwan. She saw Joohyun and Seulgi come in shortly after Yerim walked through the door, she saw Kim Yongsun having a very lively conversation with Kim Sejeong. One by one, famous idols started entering the bar, bowing and congratulating Seungwan as she was peacefully talking to Joohyun. 

“Whats up Doongdoongie.” Seulgi slung her arm over her shoulders, despite being 3 inches shorter than her.

“Nothing much Ddeulgi.” The dancer smelled heavily like soju and had red-tinted cheeks. “Drunk already?” 

“What, I’m allowed to have a  _ little _ fun.”

“Ok sure, but make sure your old lady doesn’t get too mad.” 

“What about you, not gonna drink.” She hiccups.

“No, I still have to drive home later.”

“Live a little, Joy. You can always call a taxi-”

“Seulgi stop bothering people.” Yerim looks over at her, obviously worried about the drunken bear. Seulgi wasn’t very good at drinking or holding liquor. 

The party was dying down, tipsy Korean celebrities started to hobble out of the bar, leaving just the 5 of them. 

“Well, I’ve got to take her home.” Joohyun sighed, leading her delirious girlfriend to the door. 

“I’m gonna call it a night as well, congrats unnie.” Yerim grabbed her coat and patted around her pockets, looking for her car key. 

Seungwan was brandishing a glass of red wine and Sooyoung was just sitting there like an idiot. She wanted to say so many things, but she didn’t know where to start. So instead, she scooted her chair closer to the idol. 

“That was fun,” Seungwan said in a relaxed tone. 

“Mmmm.” Trying to formulate what she was going to say next. “Wanna get out of here?”

Although she never saw herself being turned down by the infamous Wendy, she was still a bit surprised when she complied. But on the other hand, she was a bit tipsy and needed a ride anyway. Turning the key in her door, Haetnim came running as soon as she opened it. 

Seungwan immediately squatting down to pet the pup, Sooyoung had to step over her drunken state just to get into her house. Standing up and brushing herself off, Seungwan’s eyes were droopy and the Asian glow was definitely kicking in. 

“Here, let me help you.” Putting her arm over her shoulders, she helped her take off her shoes and lay down under the blankets. 

About to turn and get ready for bed, she hears Seungwan whisper,  _ “I love you.” _

“I love you too, pabo.” She laughs at Seungwan’s sheepish confession. 

After coming from the bathroom, the minimal makeup she wore now gone, she got into bed next to her. Seungwan turning her back to her as an indication for spooning, she shuffles close underneath the covers. Wrapping her arms around Seungwan’s small figure, her nose buries itself in her short lavender-scented hair. 

“I’m scared.” 

“Huh? Why?” Sooyoung knew the girl was still very drunk. 

“I’m scared you’ll leave.”

“Why would I leave?”

“Tired of waiting.” Her voice was getting watery and thick.

“Seungwan, I’ll wait forever if that’s what you want.”

“But it’s not what I want.” Tears softly flowing now. 

“Do you want to end this?” She asked, fear brewing in her stomach. 

“No, I want you to be happy.” 

Sooyoung was trying to decipher what it was her wasted girlfriend was trying to say. “I’m happy with you. Are you happy with me?” She tried to say in the nicest, most patient voice she could muster, but inside she was freaking out. 

“Yes, but wouldn’t you be happier with someone who could be there?”

“You’re here right now, are you not? I’m happy with you, I don’t want to be with anyone else.” She felt like dumbing down her words for Seungwan, who was very out of it. 

Seungwan stopped crying, and her breathing evened out. Sooyoung knew when she fell asleep when she hears her soft snores fill her room. Letting out a big sigh, Sooyoung now knew how the other felt about them. She wished she could swat away all the bad thoughts of her leaving that was stirring inside Seungwan’s head. Sooyoung had very little experience with relationships, next to none, but for some reason, she felt like trying for her. She liked it when Seungwan smiled, she liked it when she laughed, she liked it when they would eat dinner together, and she liked it when she was happy. 

___

Waking up to the sounds of a dog barking and a splitting headache was not something that pleased the famed idol. Pulling the covers over her head to shield her self from the morning light coming through the curtains. 

After 5 minutes of sulking, the pain pounding in her head was becoming unbearable. Kicking off the heavy comforter, there was a couple advil pills and a glass of water on her nightstand. Thankfully devouring both, she went to the bathroom to clean up before facing the day. Seungwan took some pride in seeing her blue toothbrush next to Sooyoung’s green one, it felt good being back, being able to keep a now normal schedule. 

Exiting the bathroom and being greeted with the sight of Sooyoung trying to make pancakes. The young producer had flour smeared on her cheeks and nose, brows furrowed in confusion trying to read a recipe. 

“Oh Seungwannie, you’re awake.”

“Whatcha makin?”

“Well, I was trying to make pancakes…”

“Pancakes?” Looking at a stack of charred disks sitting on her counter. “Here, let me help.”

Sooyoung almost making a sprint for the living room once Seungwan offered to take over. Taking off her apron and sitting on the couch with Haetnim sounded like a better ordeal. The show was coming to an end as Seungwan announced breakfast was ready, her stomach instinctively growling. 

Setting the table, she placed a mouth-watering stack of pancakes in the center. Accompanied by fluffy eggs and crispy bacon, Sooyoung was ravenous. The overwhelming domestically of their dynamic was starting to grow. Savoring the food and their time together, Sooyoung was starting to dread the time they’d have to spend apart. 

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Wondering if the singer remembered the teary things she said. 

“No, I just remember little bits and pieces. I didn’t even drink that much, though.” She pouts. 

Putting her fork down, she had another chance to tell her she loved her one more time. Granted the other night, Seungwan said it first, but drunken messages don’t count. “Son Seungwan, I love you.” Her message firm and confident, having heard the other girl say it before already. 

Almost choking on her drink, Seungwan struggles to respond, “I love you too.” Hiding behind her hair.

___

The only thing she remembers is receiving a frantic call from her manager at 5 in the morning. Waking up, searching for her ringing phone and answering, a disheveled Sooyoung shoots up next to her, frightened by all the commotion. 

“Hello? Unnie?”

“Seungwan-ssi, we need you to come down to SM right now. This is regarding some dating rumors. This could be serious, please hurry.” And with that, her manager hung up. 

Smoothing out the sides of her hair and searching her room for her scattered clothes, Sooyoung just sits there dumbfounded. “Everything okay?”

“No, apparently there are dating rumors about me.” She slipped in her shirt, eyes still scanning the room for her pants. 

“About us?” Her voice sounding scared and small. 

“I don’t know, but considering I don’t hang out with anyone else, probably.” 

Ironic as the situation was, Sooyoung ended up dropping her off at SM. Her manager rushing to her side in an instant, ushering her up to the conference room. 

Entering the room, the air was thick with tension. Seungwan stayed cool under the judging glares of SM executives. The rumors speculated her relationship with, you guessed it, producer Park Joy. Since her contract forbade her from publicly dating, they were making her deny the rumors or they’d be terminating her contract. 

She was in a moral dilemma, to say the least. On one hand, there was this girl she really loved and wanted to scream her name at the top of her lungs into the world, but on the other hand, Korea didn’t collectively support same-sex relationships and it would damage both of their careers. She was stuck. Surely, if Sooyoung was here, she’d tell her it wasn’t worth it. She would sacrifice everything in her being to give Seungwan a successful career because both of them worked hard to get where they were. 

“Scandals and all, the decision is your’s Wendy-ssi.” 

Feeling sick to her stomach, she started writing her statement. With the SM pr team nearby, it was posted almost instantly. With the public statement that read:

_ We come to inform you that SM Wendy is in fact not dating or seeing anyone. Park Joy and Wendy are simply close friends.  _

Not even 2 minutes later, Dispatch makes another report of the statement. Stan twitter was a mess, hashtags shipping the two together were still in denial. Of course, to any person with functioning eyes, it looked like she and Sooyoung were in a relationship. Her manager quickly helping her into a company van that was driving her home, she sat utterly stunned. Scrolling through tweets saying:

_ There’s no way Wendy is straight, come on look at this.  _ It was a picture of both of them coming out of the Mnet building hand in hand, Seungwan was laughing at something Sooyoung has said and the picture was taken by some fansite. 

_ We love our gay queen #wenjoy. _ It was a picture of the two being spotted at some cafe they went to recently. 

After looking through her twitter timeline, it became very apparent how many people were spectating them since her promotions ended. Staring at nothing, mind completely blank, she gets a call from Joohyun.

“Hello, unnie.” She sounded emotionless. 

“I saw.” Out of all the people she knew, she knows Joohyun understands what she’s going through. She’s had to defuse at least 5 dating rumors concerning her and Seulgi. “Are you alright?”

“No.” She still sounded indifferent. 

“Don’t worry Wan-ah, this whole thing will blow over. The next thing you know, they’ll be shipping you with the next man you meet eyes with.” The older scoffed. 

She was quite the rest of the ride home, only then when she was inside her apartment did she finally break down. She felt sick to her stomach, why was she so upset about something that wasn’t meant to be a big deal? Was it because she had to hide her love from the public? Was it that she and Sooyoung were probably going to have to keep sneaking around until the day she dies? Was it the crippling realization that she would never be able to love freely unless she loved a man? She and Sooyoung deep down both knew this, so why was this a surprise to her? Unable to stifle her uncontrollable sobs, she hears her phone ring. It was Sooyoung, she didn’t know if she was emotionally capable of talking to her right now but she still picked up. 

“Seungwan? Are you ok? What happened?”

“I’m fine.” Her voice was stuffy. Sooyoung could hear the soft sniffles, and that was enough for her to grab her jacket and keys.

“Hold on, I’ll be there soon.” And before Seungwan could protest, she hung up. 

After a teary attempt of an explanation, Seungwan gave up and just cried into her hands. Sooyoung stepped inside the apartment and wrapped her in a warm embrace. Spending the next 3 hours rocking Seungwan in her arms, trying to calm her down.

“It’s okay, we’ll get through this.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispers against her chest, they were now sitting on her couch.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” Too tired to argue her case, she just laid there. 

The amount of paparazzi that followed her around seemed to die down, there were no longer cameras being shoved down her throat. She barely got to see Sooyoung that week, the producer was busy working with Yerim. So she spent her time in the seclusion of the studio and in the company of Seulgi and Joohyun.

“Aren’t you guys afraid to hang out?”

“Why? Because of the Dispatch articles?” Joohyun and Seulgi have had a couple run-ins with the media since the two have been dating in secret for about 2 years now. Seulgi was currently giving her girlfriend a piggyback ride in the practice room. “Ya’ know, no matter what you tell the internet, they’re always going to make up their own narrative. Either they chose to believe the watered-down lies that Seulgi and I are just friends, ship me with EXO members, or just forget about it.”

“You’re not scared of more rumors?”

“At this point, picture of us hanging out doesn’t shock the internet anymore. The only reason your case is getting so much traction is that no one’s seen you with anyone but me, Seulgi, or Yerim.”

Thoughtfully sipping on her drink, Joohyun makes some pretty good points. 

“Yah!” Seulgi was full-on sprinting in the room with Joohyun still on her back. “Sooyoung?” 

She saw the tall woman standing in the doorway holding a big bag os takeout, smiling like a fool.

Seungwan had never turned her head faster, she thought she’d get whiplash. Staring up at the producer with wide eyes and her jaw hitting the floor. 

“Sooyoung?”

“Yes, yes, it’s me.” She rolls her eyes upon the second time hearing her name, pulling Seungwan into a hug. 

___

Dating an idol was by no means an easy task, but she and Seungwan had become pros at sneaking around at this point. Yes, there were occasional slip-ups but nothing too serious. Now, Dispatch only wrote articles about their “beautiful friendship”, completely oblivious that on their 1 year anniversary, Sooyoung was going to propose. She knew there were still laws preventing people from having same-sex marriages in Korean, and that if this went public, it would cause a big splash. She simply wanted to get her a ring, promising to stay by her side forever, unconditionally. Not  _ that  _ big of a deal.

They were having dinner in each other’s company in their shared apartment. Living together was one big step considering Seungwan was still constantly followed by cameras, but an obstacle they passed together. And while Seungwan was in the middle of eating a french fry, she whipped out her ring box. 

“Seungwan-ah, wanna be my life partner?” 

She was now choking on her food at the sentiment. Okay, maybe it was  _ kinda _ a big deal. “What?”

“Well, we can’t get married, but I still got you a ring.” She opened the box. 

Even after knowing Sooyoung for 365 days, Seungwan was always surprised by her informality and ability to approach everything with ease. Sitting there speechless as she looks down at the diamond. 

“I’m not getting any younger Wan-ah.” Sooyoung sighs.

“Y-yes, I would love to.” She stutters out. 

Smiling back at her, Sooyoung slips the ring on her left hand and kisses her on the cheek. 

“I can’t believe you asked me so casually,” Seungwan replied, still blushing behind her hands as Sooyoung continued on with her meal. 

“What? I love you, that’s all there is to it.” She was wiping some ketchup off the side of her mouth with her thumb. 

Smiling to herself and admiring the modest diamond on her finger. She could get used to a life with Sooyoung by her side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the outfit Seungwan was wearing at the party: https://twitter.com/archivedwendy/status/1273857577814802438?s=20

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @akuma__jpg  
> DMs open for suggestions :)


End file.
